Ta douleur...

"Ta Douleur"

[I know you're suffering, but trust me, I'm gonna take away your pain.]

Lève toi c'est décidé
laisse moi te remplacer
je vais prendre ta douleur

Doucement sans faire de bruit
comme on réveille la pluie
je vais prendre ta douleur

Stand up/wake up, it’s decided

Let me take your place

I will take your pain

Gently without making any noise

Like you’d wake up the rain

I will take your pain

I've gotten to love this song and the message it transmits.

Most of the times I wish I could say that to a friend who is in pain, but sometimes I secretly hope someone would do the same for me.

Anywho, to continue my sudden interest in music, today during my study session, this song of Kings of Convenience started playing, had completely forgotten having added it to my awesome Spotify play list, anyways,I started missing what, in some twisted way, I still view as my home, Paris.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oll6UfK6iUg

So while listening to this song I started missing...

My awesomely uncomfortable and bumpy bed (but at least it was mine)

My grandfathers old, super cool bike with a McDonald's seat belt-thingie

My apartment, small yet perfect, except for the green walls n matching carpet

The air in Paris, it's different, all polluted but with a million different smells from the bakeries, flower shops etc.

Monoprix, my supermarket, where I used to go everyday just because, I never really needed anything thou...

The Tabac/café just down my house, the owner always called me "la petite" and made jokes I never got!

The metro, it stinks, is warm, crowded and shitty, but it serves its purpose... La ligne 9!!!

Maya, Lorrena, Audrey, Marie, Thomas, Max, Zoher, Redwan, Marianne, Laure and Vincent among many, with whom I've lost contact

La Fnac, the best freakin' store ever, they have a shit load of books, n I love books...

Our Pizzeria, the best pizzas in Boulogne, not even close to crappy swedish "pizzerias"

Le 72, best freakin bus in Paris, takes you exactly where you want to go passing by the best places

My washing machine, no need to book times which you forget about anyways!!!

The food, des salades de chevre chaude, du poulet rôti, n'importe quel fromage avec une baguette chaude, les pâtes, les eclaires au chocolat... lord I could go on forever...

My conclusion after having stopped studying to listening to the song is that I'm not at all ready to go back there...

For me it's still home, not the home I was borned into but the home I created and worked hard for, it was my life.

I miss it all the time, but this is my life now, and I have to create a new "home", which I will have to work hard for, that's how life works... deep inside I don't want to do that, I want to go back, continue where it was left...

But the reason I wont be able to go back is because things have changed. My bed doesn't excist any more, the washing machine is used by someone else, and the bar down my house wont be the bar down my house... So i prefer to stay here, where I can miss and remember without having to go back to realise everything has changed.

Wow, a bit confusing...

The somewhat confusing conclusion is that things in your life changes (Todo se Transforma as the wise Jorge Drexler sings);

where you live, your job, your relationship... go with the changes instead of getting stuck in trying to keep what was there, because when it's gone it's gone... it will never be the same! It's one of the most difficult things a person will have to do, because we tend to remember the good parts, but what you have to remember is that there's a reason for the changes and well, it's changed...

Try to do the best out of the new situation...

Just aim for happiness... that's should be everyones goal in life!

Trying to follow my own, very very wise words (0: I will continue studying, because that's what I do now... being a student instead of what I was...

Btw, that was the view from my place...

Bisous