Letting some steam out

I know, I have been bombarding you all with posts today, but I promise you... this is the last one.

I didn't want to write it while Sophia was awake because I am not sure the subject will rub off on my mood this evening, and I wouldn't want her to suffer for it.

It's about what, or more like who, has been lost. People who meant something to me, who I thought were close to me, who were pretty much family. It hurts when you try to stay in touch, keep that bond, keep the connection, and you get nothing back.

I know I shouldn't care, I should actually, as the poster says: Rise above it.

But it is not that easy to stop caring I guess. People who you shared some of your most intimate moments with... in the end, it doesn't matter. The bottom line is that, I wouldn't care about them being lost if I still didn't consider them as pretty much family. 

So I guess the only thing I can do is to remember the good times we had as a family, and try to create similarly good times with my new little amazing family!

That is only one of all the things on my mind, the other is what happened this spring. 

To make it easier, and I guess more cryptic I will post a few posters that I felt suit the moment.

 

There is not much to add to these three posters. If not that I guess for both parties they are difficult to learn, understand and actually live by. 

This one is true for the people I care about. I guess the point is that if I insult you, treat you badly or disrespect you in any way it is, most likely, because you either did something or said something that was offensive to me or someone I care a lot about. I guess Memo could vouch for this one, I have never raised my voice at home, nor said anything bad without him having done something or said something first (for an extended amount of time). And not only that, I will let most of it "slide", i.e. it piles up inside me, I will even ask nicely to stop so that the relationship isn't damaged, but when the last drop hits the glass, it will all start pouring over, and that is not a pretty sight. I know for a fact I go to far, and I do not have a problem apologizing if I was in the wrong, BUT do not expect me to apologize first if you attacked me, if you ignored me when I asked you to stop, if you disrespected me. I will apologize when you apologize for the reason I offended you in the first place. I guess below poster applies to me pretty well, although I do believe actions are FAR more difficult to forgive than words. Insult me - fine, I will insult you back, we will calm down and talk about it, apologize and try to move on. Throw me out (or alike) - and forgiving becomes much more complicated.

                                                                                                     

 

And now to the last three. I guess they should have been in the opposite order, but what the heck.

The last one is really a lesson I need to learn. I need to stop holding on to anger, disappointment, and quite honestly some people. The middle one needs no comments, and the first one is another lesson I, and others should learn (friends changed for people).

And finally...