Tu serai pas un cochon toi?

Oh sweet mother of Jesus

Being sick doesn't really suit me
I don't become cute or look vulnerable
Today I tried going to school, correction, I went to school
HUGE mistake
Must have scared the shit out of half of my poor fellow students

Red extremely teary eyes, extremely "fashionable" hairdo, pale and with a voice that even would scare the husband of any of those 60 year old ladies with a "smoking voice"

But I managed to finish the Micro assignment on time, as well as starting with some other things, I even went to class...
But from there it goes down

My friends decided to go against me and openly, with loud voices, told me I look like someone with the swine flu and that I shouldn't be in school

Since I felt the social responsibility of not spreading this horrible decease on my shoulders (as Jan-Olov would say) I went to the vårdcentral

First of all I got lost in there, yeah I know, not the most complicated building, you go either to the first or second floor...
maybe it was the fever, but I didn't recognize any floor, so I waited in the middle...

suddenly a doctor came and saved me, showed me to the right floor and told me to take a number and sit down
(because in Sweden, we will fight deceases, crime... well anything with number tags!!!)

There was no one else in the waiting room, 5 nurses in the reception so I figured it wouldn't take too long... well my ass yeah...
when finally they called me back, because the first time was only in order to make you believe you will get help, (she actually only told me I look like shit and asked me to sit down again)

Once again I am told I look like shit, have gotten used to it by now, probably heard it 20 times today, and the lady asks me if I've got a fever, well I don't know if I have a fever since I don't have the thing to take the temperature, but I told her I assume I do, which she decided to agree on, because checking it would have been too much to ask right?!?!

Anywho,we quickly came to the conclusion that it's either the swine flu or a really really bad cold (genius right!?) and that the only thing to do is to stay at home, drink water and take different kinds of pain killers!


Isn't it too cute!?? I wouldn't mind being a baby piglet, hopefully someone would hug me then at least!

All this took me an hour, even thou I was the only person in the waiting room and they didn't actually do anything but ask me a couple of questions... effectiveness at its greatest!

So here I am, at home, drinking a soda based on water and after having taken one pill my fever went down (it's back up again thou, but still)...
Swedish doctors are the shit!

(0:

Mon nez

I've done some spring cleaning (perhaps it should be called fall cleaning) on my phone and in my head this weekend.

Was awesome having Sean here.
Not only was it great seeing him again and seeing him so fucking drunk he couldn't even walk home, but also he helped me realize that I had to do some changes.
Or to be honest, recent happenings and one comment of his made me realize that things had to change.

We were talking about dishonest people and it ended up with him asking me when I would get myself a nice boy that treats me well instead of all these idiots I tend to go for (if I remember right)
Now maybe up til now I've been trying out all those bad ones in order to be able to really appreciate the next one that for sure will be better than the last one (0:

Even though it wasn't really a boy in that sense, it was more like a man, adult, a friend, but as always I expect too much from the wrong people.

I think I've brought this up before, but I will do it again, because I don't think it can be said too many times...

People, be honest, open and treat people the way you would want to be treated.
If you need compassion and attention, you might want to give it to the ones you expect that from.

For a straight forward question answer honestly, even thought you think the answer will hurt, don't you think hiding or being secretive about it will hurt even more when it's found out?

Stupid example;

If I ask you if you eat chocolate
say yes if you do instead of lamely trying to hide it
Because when I later see you eat chocolate (having ignored everyone telling me about you eating chocolate, trusting you when you said it was an apple)it will disappoint me
Since, you eating chocolate doesn't matter to me, I wouldn't care, but the mere fact of lying about is sad, for you...
Since, if you would have told me you ate chocolate, maybe I would have told you I've been eating quite a lot of chocolate this whole time and that it really wouldn't have mattered that you did too!

A footnote would also be that considering what I've done and been through for this friend I deserve a bit more respect...

Anywho, I'm done playing whatever games and am now ready to enjoy my last months here in Sweden, started out this weekend and will try to keep on going

Seeing people I love and start seeing people I've been wanting to see, if I'm not too shy that is... haha... haven't done that in a while
I'm nervous!

First of all I need to get over this freaking cold of mine
Hit me like a train on saturday, woke up with a fever, soar throat and a runny nose, and wouldn't say it's been getting much better since.
The fever comes and goes, well... goes during the days and comes back like a nice little friend every night!

Otherwise I've pretty much organized all the school work that needs to be done in my head, that does not mean I will end up doing it exactly as planned but it feels feasible now, difficult and almost physically impossible, but that's only almost! (0:

Now I will continue enjoying mon nez and ma fievre

Bisous a tous et bonne nuit!

All I want

Thursday I get "fin besök" as we would say in Swedish... -nice visit-translated into english, Saauunn, or more correctly written, Mr. Sean is making a stop here in wonderful Sweden.

I'm sure he will be amazed by the beautiful nature & women, the extraordinary expensive alcohol, awesome weather and the eventful city of Jönköping!
I'm very much excited about the visit, first foreign friend to ever see me in my "true habitat" haha...

But before Sir. Tompkins arrival I have a few things to work out, for example;

¤ Finish the Strategy & Technology homework for tomorrow
¤ Finish the SWOT and PESTLE analysis' of the construction industry
¤ Look over the changes I need to do in the Statistics lab report
¤ Read the Micro chapter for the assignment
¤ Answer the questions for the Micro Assignment
¤ Preferably study a bit of Management Accounting
¤ Do laundry
¤ Find a cheap rental car place
¤ Clean my room
and most importantly...
¤ Go enjoy the free food at the international day tomorrow! (0:

Anywho, figured out that being irritated lately has to do with my lack of seeing the obvious... or not so obvious (and there we go again... aarrggghh)

It's 4 a.m, should get up at 9 a.m to start the busy day...

I end the day with the nice little christmas song Lina & I heard in the cab last week! I like christmas! (0:



Oh, and for your information guapo, today it was 1 month... maybe you didn't think about it, but I did...

PUSS a todos

A deep breath...

I trust very few people

When I was younger I thought everyone meant well, that people didn't lie or hide things
Growing up you learn that most people do lie but that close friends and family can be trusted
Because what is the purpose with lying to them?

Maybe I've been unlucky, maybe I trusted the wrong people
Because at some point everyone I ever had trusted let me down, but as with everything else you move on...

I learned my lesson

So when starting over with life I tried to be a bit more selective with the people I trust and rely on
I thought I was a pretty good judge of character, to some extent I was, I have some awesome people around me that I know are there for me

BUT obviously I'm not yet an expert and managed to get really disappointed with a couple of them

I don't like when people hide things from me
*Don't make me believe things that aren't there
*Don't make up things just because you think it hurts less
- because the truth ALWAYS comes out, and then you hurt ppl even more!

I can't even explain how much it hurts

Because when I care for someone, I would do anything for them
Even though I might be far away or I might even not show it all the time, but the few people I care about mean everything to me, I truly love them as friends
so when someone hurts me it breaks my heart



But as always I'm too much of a coward to even bring it up... I write about it instead

Even though I might be angry, sad and disappointed I'm truly happy and feel extremely lucky to have been able to see my entire family this past weekend.
Not only did I spend time with my mom, my dad came with Bettina, Bettina and Maria, and even though the mood might not have been on top it was nice being with people that knows me and takes me for who I am!






Also Bettina brought me the vitamin E oil she bought in Panama...
AWESOME, I already started using it
I'm very excited my scars will go away, because hopefully the memories will have a better chance fading if I don't have a constant reminder about what happened in the past!

Anyways, lucky me I've got so much stuff in school right now I can try to bury myself in books instead

This week has started with A LOT of ethics, some Strategy & Technology analysis and a very tiny bit of Management Accounting; which I'm certain there will be more of

So off I go to bed now... But just so you know
*I love you, and I'll always be there for you... I'll never forget you*