The reason I am using the expression "winter/fall depression" is for the simple fact, and anyone who has lived "up north" knows what I'm talking about, that as darkness becomes more and more unavoidable and intense, people tend to fall into a depression.
Lack of sunlight
The fact of being more indoors
Many reasons are given.
Usually, spring coming, people start feeling better; outdoors is now more invitable and there is no shortage of sunlight.
But of course, I am different to most people. I get "spring depressions".
For some years now I've started feeling down every time spring "hits".
I become very anxious and don't really know what to do with myself; I loose things, I get into the wrong kinda relationships (not only referring to boys), doing random stupidities.
It has become quite a habit, a bad habit.
Already this year I've lost a wallet (which has been found, a story to be told), used most of my savings on sending a phone here, gotten into relationships (definition above) with people not worthy of any attention of mine... does it sound like last year? The year before?
Yes, history repeats itself.
And that does not make things better. I beome so angry at myslef. I mean; GOD, when will I learn!?
Idiots and assholes can be spotted from far, I am amazingly good at recognizing them, do I listen to my own warnings, not so often!
I seem to have this kinda profound need to always have at least one bad acquaintance around.
Anywho, I got into a discussion with my current bad (this is me exaggerating, it is not that bad) acquaintance about choices that had been made.
And at first I got angry... but all of a sudden it hit me: Crazy me, why am I even bothering?So I stopped. Poor person thought I was crazy. Switching from upset to "normal" in two seconds.
I had to get all that out, SORRY!
So, wallet found! YAY... someone called the "gardien" of our building and I will get it back tomorrow. A huge thank you to Firat who, kind as he is, called the guy (turkish only, of course) and made sure I could get it back.
Firat should also get some recognition for making my day today.
I was being my bitter spring me in Uni, sitting by myself eating a cupcake (I don't like cupcakes, so why was I eating it? Who the hell knows!). Elturan came to speak with me, and then Firat joined.
We moved over to sit with the other exchange students (Firat wondered why I always sat by myself... I am being bullied that's why! Just joking, I never pay attention, sorry!).
At some point it was decided lunch should be eaten. The problem being I had no wallet. So Firat so kindly offered to pay for lunch today.
Off we went. And, we didn't go to random shit place like, for example McDonalds, NO... we went to Burger King!
Seriously, walking down Tunali to the bus stop after eating I felt so good. I was half happy!
THANK YOU Firat! (Although, sorry about the picture!)
Check it out ASAP!
PUSS
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